love is sweet, but friendship shouldn’t become the first casualty.
There are only two things that can make your friend disappear overnight.
Exam season and love.
One day, you’re both eating Indomie from the same pot at 1 a.m., complaining about lecturers and planning a trip you’ll probably never take.
The next day? Silence.
You text. “Guy, where you dey?”
Blue tick, no reply.
Three hours later, they finally answer.
“Sorry, I was with someone.”
Someone.
Not “my babe.”
Not “my girlfriend.”
Not “my boyfriend.”
Just…
Someone.
At first, you understand.
New relationships are exciting.
Everything is interesting.
Even sitting together in silence somehow feels like premium entertainment.
You don’t expect them to spend every second with you.
But then it starts getting suspicious.
They stop showing up for your usual lunch.
Movie nights? Cancelled.
Weekend hangouts? “I’m busy.”
Department gist? They don’t even know what’s happening anymore.
Your friendship has officially entered low battery mode.
The funniest part?
When wahala finally shows up in paradise, guess who gets the call.
You.
Suddenly it’s:
“Can I come over?”
“I need to talk.”
“Please, are you free?”
Ah.
So you remembered my room still exists.
Interesting.
Kappy says:
“Some people don’t lose friends because they started dating. They lose friends because they forgot friendships also need attention.”
And honestly?
He’s right.
Love is beautiful.
Nobody is saying you shouldn’t enjoy your relationship.
Spend time together.
Make memories.
Take those cute pictures.
Argue over where to eat.
Do your thing.
But remember the people who knew you before the butterflies arrived.
The friends who covered for you during attendance.
The ones who lent you money when your account balance looked like a phone battery percentage.
The people who sat with you after your last heartbreak and listened to the same story for the fifteenth time without telling you to move on.
They deserve better than disappearing acts.
Here’s something many people don’t realize.
Healthy relationships don’t isolate you.
They make room for the people who matter.
If dating someone means abandoning every friendship you’ve built over the years, that’s not maturity.
That’s poor balance.
Because relationships can end.
Friendships can too.
The goal isn’t to choose one over the other.
It’s to nurture both.
And if you’re the friend feeling left behind?
Maybe give them a little grace.
They’re probably caught up in something new.
But don’t keep chasing someone who’s constantly unavailable for you.
Real friendships shouldn’t feel like you’re booking appointments three weeks in advance just to gist.
One day, the honeymoon phase will calm down.
When it does, your friend will look around for the people who were there before the relationship.
Hopefully, they’ll find those friendships still standing.
Because while love can change your schedule…
It shouldn’t erase the people who helped shape your story.
So text your friend today.
Or better still…
Leave your partner’s room for one afternoon.
Your people miss you.
They just won’t always say it.
If you sha get babe be ready to cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
About the author
Chriss 🔆
just a girl who is chill and loves to writee… i love reading self help books too.
Korner effect
We no expect you to dey come here everyday dey refresh the page — only Kappy get that kind time. Tell us how to reach you — email, phone notification, or both — and we go find you whenever we drop a new stori.
or
No time to dey check mail? Click Notify me and we go ping you directly on your device whenever we drop a new stori — no inbox, no wahala. iPhone users, you go need to add this site to your home screen first: open in Safari, tap the share icon, select “Add to Home Screen”, then come back and click the button.
